Memories
by Germanic Spazz
Summary: "It's a boy. A beautiful baby boy." he choked, managing to barely fake a smile. Her smile brightened, though it was still weak. "Then just like we agreed. We'll call him Gilbert." "Ja." Alvar nodded. "Gilbert suits him just fine." Prequel one shot to 'Awesome Can't Die'. Contains fluff and angst. May have to have read main story for a full understanding of the setting.


"Are you really going through with this, Maria?"

Maria turned from her closet, still holding a dress of hers in her hands when her eyes locked onto her younger brother, standing at the door to her room. The tall 17 year old stared vacantly at her with those narrow blue eyes of his. The sun had only just risen, and already he was dressed in his blue military uniform and had his long blond hair tucked back into a respectable ponytail. His eyes locked onto her equally blue ones, demanding an answer.

Maria smiled sadly, nodding to him before folding the dress in her hands and packing it carefully in her open luggage, along with the rest of her clothing.

"It's my choice to marry him, Alvar. I'd hope that you of all people would respect my decisions."

"But he's Austrian!" Alvar snapped back, causing Maria to jump at the sudden volume escaping the usually quiet boy's mouth.

She turned back to her brother, eyes glaring.

"And why does that even matter? You're beginning to sound like _Vater_! If you want me to explain it in your terms, then there should be no reason to be upset! Austria is the most powerful nation of the Holy Roman Empire! Not to mention Johann Edelstein is a wealthy, high class man with even more land than we have! Even though those things don't matter to me, I thought they'd at least make _Vater_ and _Mutter _satisfied!" She turned back to her luggage, latching it shut as she mumbled, "But apparently not!"

Alvar remained quiet as he watched his sister carefully, taking in the words she had just spoken.

"So if none of those traits matter to you why are you doing this?" he asked, breaking the silence.

Maria's shoulders slumped and she sighed, turning back to face him. Her lips formed into another sad smile.

"Must you really ask, _bruder_? I love him of course. Do you think I'd abandon my own family simply for more wealth?"

Alvar had no way to respond. He and his elder sister of three years had always been close. She wouldn't just leave him and take being disowned by the family if she wasn't absolutely serious about it. And yet, Alvar couldn't quite wrap his head around the idea. She _loved _this Austrian? What did that even really mean? He thought she loved him? Their family? Was that suddenly not enough?

Alvar flinched as he was pulled from his musings when a slender hand reached up to his face.

Maria was standing before him, giggling at his reaction to her touch. Then her face became much more serious, yet her cerulean eyes glittered with compassion.

"Listen to me, Alvar. I am a grown woman now. It's my turn to choose what life I want to live, and I've chosen to share it with Johann. I'm not going to be ruled by _Vater's_ standards anymore. I am my own person, not his property to do what he wants with me." She paused for a moment, swallowing before continuing. "You need to do the same,_ bruder_. _Vater_ has already pushed you into the military. Don't let him control any more of your life. I know you don't like any of the suitors Mutter has chosen for you."

Alvar glanced away, yet his sister continued.

"Don't settle on who they choose for you. You should be able to choose any woman you want."

"And how do I do that?" Alvar asked, his eyes still staring at the floor.

Maria rolled her eyes. "You don't listen do you? With love. Base your choice on love. Not on titles or wealth."

Alvar didn't want to ask any more questions on the subject, even though his sister's answer hardly helped him. How was love so important? His parents never spoke of it. They had an arranged marriage after all, and they were fine.

Getting no reaction out of her straight faced brother, Maria sighed sadly before turning back to grab hold of her luggage. All she was taking with her were her clothes and a few personal items of her life as a Beilschmidt. Other than that, she owned nothing else. As her father put it, she was dead to them after all. She felt tears come to her eyes as she thought of never seeing her family again. As soon as she left those doors and entered the carriage that Johann had sent for her, it was over.

She wanted to just let it out; to let the tears fall and release those sobs building in her throat. But she wouldn't allow that. She still had some of her father's stubbornness in her after all. She wouldn't cry, especially in front of her little brother. She inhaled deeply, stilling her shaking hands as she hoisted up her luggage and placed a sun hat atop of her blond locks. She decided she just needed to hold it together until she was in the carriage. Until it was official that she was no longer a part of the Beilschmidt family.

She turned and began for the door. Alvar smoothly stepped to the side, allowing her to walk passed him. She watched him from the side of her eye, hoping for one last glance from her sibling before she departed, yet his gaze remained on the floorboards.

She felt another sob trying to force it's way from her throat, which she hid with a slight cough.

"When's the wedding?"

She stopped in her tracks. Had that deep voice only been a part of her imagination as she hoped for recognition? Or had it really escaped the youth's lips? She glanced over her shoulder, noticing that her brother was now staring straight at her, clearly awaiting an answer.

"Two days. Why?"

"Could you send me a carriage? I don't think _Vater_ will allow me to use his."

Her face lit up and she spun around completely. "Wait. You want to come?"

He nodded. "Why would I miss the marriage of my only sibling?"

A hand shot up to her face as she tried to cover the tears which she could no longer hold back. Muffled sobs escaped from between her fingers. And although she cried, she was no longer sad. Her brother hadn't abandoned her after all. They were still siblings, and always would be.

Alvar suddenly looked flustered. He didn't know how to react around crying women. Especially his older sister! He didn't think he's ever seen her cry.

After a moment she dropped her luggage and lunged for her brother, throwing her arms around him. Alvar winced at the sudden contact, his arms poised out, not sure what to do with them. Maria couldn't help but laugh. He'd always been so unsociable. Though she could be partially blamed for that. She wasn't much into physical contact either, but she needed it now.

She gave her tall brother one last squeeze before releasing him. Her eyes were still full of tears, but she was smiling.

"I shouldn't make Johann wait any longer."

Alvar allowed himself to smile.

"Take care, _Schwester_. I'll see you soon."

She nodded back as she grabbed her bag again before descending down the hall, giving a cheerful wave as she disappeared down the stairs and out the front door.

o00o00o00o

Alvar released a heavy sigh as he walked down the street, one of his hands rubbing the back of his neck. He was only 20 years old, and already his life was filled with so much stress. He'd been promoted to the rank of a Captain the year before, and was well on his way to jumping another rank in a year or so. While that was splendid and all, it also meant much more responsibility placed on his head, along with the constant attention he got due to his father's position. He was a Beilschmidt after all. Everybody expected great things from a Beilschmidt; just like they did from the Kleist family. And if military training wasn't hard enough! The soldier king didn't relent! Even if Prussia wasn't involved in any actual wars at the moment, the king was set on having a powerful military structure.

He continued his walk home, dreaming about the soft bed that awaited him. His feet felt heavy and his head ached. All he wanted was to sleep. Yet his attention was soon grabbed by the loud yell of a woman. He perked up his head and glanced in the direction it came from. Across the street, he noticed a group of soldiers, forming a circle around what appeared to be a flustered young woman. Conversation couldn't be heard but the men were clearly interested in her, and she clearly was not. She tried to break free from the barrier they formed around her, but they would simply pull her back by the shoulders, while attempting to get her to join them for a drink and perhaps more.

Alvar scowled. This was not how a Prussian soldier should act! They were a disgrace to the army! He grumbled angrily as he gave up on his path home and made his way across the street, stepping around the other individuals along the busy Berlin street.

"Come on babe! Just one drink. We'll play nice" one of the soldiers cooed, a hand grabbing hold of her thin upper arm. She growled and pulled her arm from his grasp.

"I said no! How many times must I tell you for it to sink into your thick minds! Now get out of my way, trash!"

The man's eyes narrowed and he suddenly lunged his hand at her throat, slamming her against the wall of the building behind them.

"Who do you think you are talking to, whore?! We're soldiers! You best show us some respect!" he spat angrily. She grasped desperately at the hand around her throat, gasping for air. Her eyes were wide and fearful. But on top of that, defiance could clearly be seen.

A large hand suddenly came down on the assaulting man's shoulder, clenching with bone crushing strength. Startled, the man released his grasp on the woman's throat, allowing her to slid down the wall and to her knees, coughing and gasping.

"Who the he-" the man began, but stopped when his gaze met Alvar's hard glare. He tensed up as those eyes looked into his murderously, the grip on is shoulder tightening. The other men in the group took a startled step back.

"And what kind of respect should _I _show you then, scum?" If his deep voice and glare wasn't intimidating enough, the venomous tone of his voice only made it ten times worse.

"That's a Beilschmidt!" one of the men murmured to another, who backed up even further.

The man facing Alvar had gone stiff. His eyes frozen on the taller man. Alvar thought he even noticed his arms shaking slightly.

"Well?" Alvar demanded.

"N-Nothing sir! It was nothing!" the man began shakily. "We were just leaving!"

"Good. And I better not see you disgraces doing anything like this again. No go, before I dirty my gloves with your blood."

As soon as he released his grip, the soldier was off, running from Alvar as fast as he could around the nearest corner to escape his back stabbing glare.

Alvar huffed irritably as he continued his glare, even after they had already disappeared. Then turning his attention to the woman at his feet, he squatted down to her, offering her a helping hand.

"Are you alright mis-" His words stopped abruptly as he got a good look at the woman.

She was slender, but her arms were still slightly defined, showing that she was used to work, unlike most of the woman Alvar had acquaintance with. She ran a hand through her riled, pale blond hair, revealing her face. She had a narrow, but sharp nose, with wide cheek bones and voluptuous pink lips. Her beautiful crimson eyes were accented perfectly by her light skin.

Her brows were narrowed and cheeks puffed angrily for a moment as she stared ahead of her, before she glanced her eyes up to Alvar's face, red eyes locking with his blue. Her lips formed into a long grin.

"Thanks for your help. Those idiots obviously don't understand the word 'no'."

She took Alvar's outstretched hand; his nearly double the size of hers, and he easily lifted her to her feet. She sighed and began attempting to wipe the dirt from her dress, muttering irritably to herself about the men ruining her dress and began a string of profanities directed towards her attackers.

Alvar felt his cheeks heat up. He had never heard a woman speak such language before.

When she noticed how stiff he looked, she stopped, blushing herself.

"Ah, sorry. I didn't mean to say that aloud. I was just a little angry."

Alvar nodded, "It's perfectly understandable miss."

"Anna. Call me Anna..". She smiled, her eyes sparkling.

Alvar didn't know why his stomach flipped at that moment. He also didn't know why it was so hard for him to speak. He swallowed before addressing her again.

"Alright, Miss Anna. I apologize for the men's behavior. They are a disgrace to the Kingdom."

"You get used to it." she shrugged before adding, "And it's just 'Anna'. The miss is way too stuffy for my liking."

"Ah! R-right!"

Alvar suddenly became silent and he wasn't sure where he should look. Anna stared at him for a moment, waiting for any sort of response from the tall man. When he made no move to say anything further, she frowned. "well I better get back home. Papa will be worried about me if I'm late."

She turned her back to him and began to walk away before he pulled out from his silence.

"Ah, wait! Let me escort you home!"

Anna stopped, turning enough to face Alvar again. Her eyes were wide in a startled surprise, but her frown soon grew into another one of her long smiles which made Alvar's heart leap.

"I suppose that'll be fine. Although, I feel like I should at least know the name of the man who is going to escort me.

"Right! I'm Captain Beilschmidt!" He answered habitually, warranting a chuckle from the girl.

"So am I to call you 'Captain' then? I thought you soldiers only gave up your souls when you entered the military, not your name too."

Alvar's face flushed in embarrassment, eyes once again not sure where to look.

"Sorry. It's Alvar. Alvar Beilschmidt."

"Much better!" Anna beamed before scooping her arm around and locking with Alvar's. He flinched, taken aback by the sudden movement. Anna seemed to be able to read his face rather well, as she pursed her lips as she answered, "Well I thought you said you wanted to escort me home? Isn't this the proper way to escort a lady, Beilschmidt?"

She laid emphasis on his name, causing his heart to sink a little. Did all common people know of his family name? And did they all only associate it with the higher class which his parents found so important?

"_Ja._ I suppose it is." He answered.

"Great! I'll show you to my Papa's shop!" Anna exclaimed as she pulled on his arm, leading the way.

"Shop?" he asked.

"Yep! Papa's a merchant. I was out delivering some parcels to a customer of his when those men assaulted me."

"Ah."

The two walked the rest of the way in silence. Alvar felt his heart race as he tried to think of what to say, yet he couldn't come up with anything that wouldn't sound weird. Though he did have to admit, it felt good to have Anna's arm in his. He glanced at her next to him. The top of her head only came to his chest, and he was nearly three times wider than she was. She was so small in comparison, yet she made him feel small. She was the one who had the power over him, as he was unable to make even the simplest conversation (although he never could do that, but it was _much _worse now).

Never before had he had so many questions littering his mind. He wanted to know all about her. Her interests, her hobbies, her family, her home life. He felt like hearing her life's story, getting to know every little thing about her. She was a book, just waiting to be read, yet he didn't have the courage to open it.

It wasn't long before Anna stopped in front of a small shop along the street, red eyes meeting his gaze.

"Well this is it." she announced, pulling her arm from Alvar's. He felt his heart sink as her warmth departed from him. He had the urge to argue and come up with some reason to continue. He even had the quick thought to contradict her as this not really being her father's shop. But that wouldn't get him very far, now would it?

"Thanks again for helping me out back there!" She beamed. Alvar's skin crawled. Oh how he loved that smile.

When he didn't respond, Anna's smile faltered a tad.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye then?" she asked, her voice sad and eyes staring at him almost pleadingly.

Alvar could only nod, causing Anna's smile to disappear all together. However, it was suddenly completely replaced by a large grin, which Alvar almost took to be genuine if not for the sad look still in her eyes.

"Awesome! Well, it was great meeting you Captain. I best let you get back to your….captian-y stuff."

She gave a slight wave as she turned and opened the door to the shop.

"Anna!"

She froze just as she was about to enter, glancing back at those blue eyes.

"Can I meet with you again? You never know if those men will attempt to pursue you again. You need protection."

Anna was speechless for a moment until another wide grin formed on her face, although this time, Alvar could tell it wasn't a mask.

"I guess I could use a guard dog."

Alvar felt his lips form into a smile.

"Good. Then I'll be back to escort you again tomorrow."

That was the last thing he told her before he turned on his feet, marching back towards his home. His legs no longer felt heavy, nor did his eyes wish to rest. His heart fluttered in his chest and he didn't think he'd ever be able to sleep again. Not when images of Anna's soft blond hair, glittering eyes, and wide smile invaded his thoughts.

o00o00o00o

"What did you say?" the man asked threateningly, nearly ready to jump from his chair and to his feet. His green eyes glared threateningly.

"You heard me, _Vater_. I intend to marry Anna." Alvar answered sternly, not a bit shaken by his father's threatening glare.

" You don't mean that merchant's daughter?"

"I do."

The man growled, standing from his seat and casting aside the paper he had been reading.

"Well I forbid that from happening. No son of mine is going to marry some commoner!" he snapped, making his wife-who was standing next to his chair-flinch.

"Why does that matter? Marrying her wouldn't lower my position whatsoever. I already joined the military for you. You should be satisfied with what else I choose to do."

His father's lip raised, making him resemble an angered dog.

"You are my heir! I will do what I want with you! You will marry one of the suitors we have chosen for you, and you will not affiliate yourself with that filthy woman anymore!"

Alvar had kept calm. He had mentally prepared himself for this very reaction, remembering how his father had reacted to the announcement of his sister's marriage four years earlier, but his blood began to boil at the man's final comment.

Anger began apparent in Alvar's once neutral voice.

"You will NOT talk about her like that! She has far more class then any one of those gossiping tramps you wish to set me up with! Besides, you misunderstand me! I am not asking for your permission to marry, but I am rather informing you of it! I have already made my decision, and I will not change it!"

His father remained still. His nostrils flared and brows knitted over his narrowed green eyes. His fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles were turning white and he was breathing heavily. He looked like a volcano, ready to burst.

Alvar started again before his father could, the anger in his voice falling.

"As I have said, I have made my decision. You can disown me if you like, but that will not stop me. I don't need this house or land. I have already established myself within the army and have more than enough means to provide for myself and my fiancé."

The older man looked ready to lash out once again until his wife, who had merely watched fearfully from the side, spoke up, placing a shaking hand on his shoulder.

"Wilhelm. Please. Don't do this. We've already lost our daughter! Don't cast out our son too!" Her blue eyes were filling with tears as she pleaded with her husband.

Wilhelm cast his rage filled eyes down on her, and for a moment, Alvar felt a twinge of fear, thinking the man may lash out on her. He, like his son, was a very large man after all, and could easily snap the blond woman like a twig. He didn't, however, and merely threw her hand off his shoulder and stomped out of the room. Alvar felt his breath he didn't know he was holding release. His mother relaxed her shoulders as well, glad that no harm had come to her.

She turned to face her son, her eyes an obvious sign of where he and Maria had gotten them, filled with tears.

"What's your opinion on this, _Mutter_?" Alvar asked calmly.

The woman's eyes lowered to her feet, her hands clutching the folds of her dress.

"I share your _Vater_'s opinion. Always have." she paused for a moment before raising her eyes back on her son, her face appearing more withered than usual with the crows feet under her sad eyes apparent.

"But, you are my son! I can't bear to lose you! "

Alvar nodded solemnly, though his face was still strong and resolute. He had prepared himself for this.

"You love her then?"

Alvar nodded again. "More than anything." he answered. Though he had known the woman for less than a year, it had been the happiest time of his life. He had no doubt in his mind that he wanted to spend his life with her. He wanted to always be there to protect her.

A sad, envious look overtook his mother's face as she relented.

"I'll talk to your father. We've been married for 24 years now, and as rash as he is, he wont give you up. You are his only son and heir after all."

Alvar remained silent. He was satisfied with how things had played out, yet that didn't mean he didn't feel the pain of having his parent's disappointed in him. A sudden glimpse of years earlier, when he had been questioning his sister's marriage appeared in his mind. At the time he couldn't possibly understand why she was abandoning them. All for a man that she apparently "loved". However now, he knew exactly how she had felt. His heart clenched as he now knew the pain she had felt as she abandoned them…no, as _they _abandoned _her. _

"When do you plan to wed?" his mother's voice choked out.

"In a few weeks. The ceremony will be held in Berlin at the church." His eyes softened. "Maria will be coming too. Did you know she's pregnant?"

Wide blue eyes shot to meet his.

"We'd all love it if you came. Maria, Anna, Johann, and I. It'd mean a great deal."

She turned her head. "I'll need to talk with your _Vater_."

Well, that was as good as it was going to get. Alvar said nothing more as he departed from the room. He couldn't deny the sorrow he felt, but at the same time, he felt free. A large weight had been lifted from his shoulders. All his life, he had let his father control him. He never had a say in anything, and never voiced his opinion. Yet he had finally done so. He remembered Maria's words, about living his own life. Well that's just what he was going to do. His thoughts became happier as he thought of Anna's smile, and her warm embrace. It was time for him to see his fiancé again.

o00o00o00o

Screams echoed from behind the closed door, reaching Alvar's ears and nearly shattering his heart. The voice he had come to love so much made him shutter as it came to him again, loud and filled with agony. His eyes glanced from the door, and back to his brother-in-law standing beside him. Johann's violet eyes looked at him from behind his glasses and he set a hand on Alvar's shoulder.

"Don't worry. This is normal. Everything will be fine."

Those words did nothing to calm Alvar's nerves. Things were most defiantly NOT fine! Three months early was certainly not something to be calm about, nor was the intensity of his wife's screams.

Alvar's fingers tapped against his leg, soon moving to fidget his hands together, and not long after, he found that his hand had moved to his long blond hair. His fingers now fidgeting with the small braid which Anna had tied into his hair only hours earlier. She had always loved playing with his hair after all, and had once even admitted her jealousy for how much thicker his locks were than hers.

It was a cold, bleak January evening. Alvar had been too busy to properly celebrate the New Years with his family, so they had arranged a rather late celebration with his sister at the Edelstein manner. He and his six month pregnant wife had only been there a week when the contractions began and Anna was rushed to a room with Maria and Mrs. Hedervary, the Edelstein's Hungarian maid. A doctor and nurses were fetched not too long after, and for the last few hours, Alvar had been stuck outside his wife's room, able to do nothing but wait as he listened to her pained cries.

He had been there for his sister a year earlier when she gave birth to his nephew, Roderich. However, this was nothing like it was then. His sister had carried the full nine months. He had heard her cries as well, yet they were not nearly as shrill or as pleading as Anna's. Johann had appeared just as nervous that day, however it was more of an anxious anticipation for the birth of his first child. Alvar however, was nervous for his wife and child's safety.

The door opened for a moment for a frantic nurse to run out of the room, and rushing back in with an arm full of towels. Alvar's blood went cold when he thought he noticed a red stain on the nurse's apron.

"_Vati_?" a small voice pulled Alvar's attention away from the nurse, disappearing back into the room. Johann's attention was also grabbed by the soft voice.

His tired blue eyes rested on his young nephew, standing at the end of the corridor, a thumb stuck into his mouth as his wide violet eyes spilled with frightened tears. Johann straightened himself.

"Roderich? What are you doing out of bed?" He said, quickly rushing to the sobbing toddler. He lifted the child into his arms, a hand patting his back as he tried hushing him. It was uncanny how similar the two Edelsteins looked. The only time Alvar could ever see any signs of his sister in the child was when he smiled.

"It's all right, son. Your aunt is fine. _Mutti_ is helping her right now, and in a few hours, you'll have a new cousin who you can play with." Johann muttered, his eyes flickering to Alvar for a slight second. Alvar's heart clenched as he realized the words had been directed more at him, rather than the sobbing child.

"Master Roderich! There you are!" A young, brunette servant with bright green eyes exclaimed in his usual Hungarian accent, rushing towards the two men and giving a quick apologetic nod to Johann.

"My apologies, sir! I'd put him to bed but he escaped."

"It's alright." Johann muttered calmly. "He's just scared." He turned to Alvar, trying to not look worried.

"Do you mind if I leave you for a moment? I need to put him back to bed."

Alvar nodded, crossing his arms against his body to keep his hands from fidgeting any longer.

He didn't think it would be any harder to wait, but once Johann's comforting presence had disappeared and he found himself in alone, he thought he was going to burst. Their was nothing around to distract him. Nothing to focus on as his beloved continued to cry in pain. His limbs felt numb and his stomach churned painfully.

Just as it was becoming to hard too bear; just as Alvar was going to throw the door open and run to his wife; the screaming stopped. If he thought that his body was frozen before, he was quite wrong. He felt like a statue, that no force on earth could move. The silence continued for a few minutes.

He remembered when his sister had stopped screaming. Her scream was soon replaced by the healthy cries of a newborn, and the muffled congratulatory murmurings of the nurses. It was soon followed by the door bursting open with a proud doctor announcing the gender of the new child. Yet that was not happening now.

Johann was just returning, striding as fast as he could back to Alvar's side when he noticed Alvar's frozen, pale face and the eerie silence.

"What happened?" he asked worriedly

Before Alvar could even think of how to open his mouth to answer, the door opened slightly as Maria poked her head out. She too looked pale. Her blue eyes just as equally exhausted as Alvar's, except that they were shaded with knowing. It took a moment for her to find her voice as she made eye contact with her brother.

"Anna, she.."

Alvar felt a sudden surge of energy, fueled by adrenaline coursing through his veins. He was ready to bowl right over his sister in order to find out what happened. In order to be with his wife. But was soon met with two hands pressing against his chest, keeping him from entering the room.

"Let me go!" He hollered, removing her hands and ready to push her aside.

"Calm down Alvar! Let me speak first!" Maria snapped back, the intensity in her voice causing him to still.

She swallowed again, this time speaking with a steadier voice.

"Anna is alive. But she's terribly weak. There were some complications and a lot of blood, but we managed to stop it thankfully."

Just knowing that she was still breathing helped Alvar breathe easier as well. But that didn't do much to suppress his urge to break through the door.

"She's unconscious right now. We're not sure if she'll be…" her voice gave out on her and she stood in silence for a moment. Once she knew she wouldn't be able to say any more, she stepped aside, allowing her giant of a brother to speed past her.

Just a few long strides and Alvar was already at the side of the bed, kneeling to the floor as he reached out to caress Anna's sweat covered cheek. Her eyes were shut and her breath was labored. Her hair was strewn around her head like a pale halo.

Alvar took a shaky breath as stared at her weak form, fingers now fidgeting with a lock of her damp hair. Suddenly realization hit him and he shot his gaze to the doctor. He stood at the foot of the bed with a small bundle in his arms. Alvar's heart sank further due to the solemn expression on the man's face.

"The baby?" he asked warily, terrified of what the answer may be.

The doctor nodded, approaching the kneeling man and placing the bundle into his arms.

"It's a boy." he said with much less enthusiasm as what should usually be expected.

Alvar had to fight to get himself to look down at the child in his arms. He was small, extremely so. He had held Roderich when he was first born, but his child was nearly half the size. The newborn's skin was extremely pale and nearly transparent, allowing Alvar to see each and every vein which coursed through the small limbs, which were clenched tightly to his torso. His eyes were closed and he didn't mutter a sound. Alvar would have thought the baby dead if not for the very faint rise of his chest. The only other color on the child was from the blood stained gauze which had been taped to his belly once the umbilical cord was cut.

Alvar shifted the bundle in his arms to allow one of his hands free, reaching out and carefully plucking one of the baby's hands from his chest. The white hand was barely the width of one of his fingers.

"As you can see, he is alive, but barely. I doubt he will last more than a few days."

Alvar choked back a sob and he released the tiny hand, allowing it to curl back in against the baby's chest.

A tired groan caught Alvar's attention as he noticed Anna begin to stir and shot his free hand out to pet her cheek. Her eyelids fluttered as she tried to remain conscious. Her red eyes managed to open half way, glancing at her husband tiredly. It made his heart twitch painfully at how weak the usually strong and vibrant woman was.

She stared at Alvar, not truly seeing him until after a few moments her eyes brightened and a weary smile formed on her lips.

"_Guten Morgen, Liebling_." she muttered.

The corner of Alvar's lips raised, slightly amused, not bothering to correct her of the time.

"_Morgen_." He replied sadly, gracefully rubbing a finger along her cheek, which she leaned into lovingly.

"How's the baby?" she asked, causing Alvar's breath to hitch nervously. His eyes glanced from the doctor, to his sister, and back to his wife. She was already in such weak condition. He feared that breaking the news to her that their child would not live could possibly kill her. He'd much rather lie to her, if it was in order to keep her spirits up as she recovered. He could handle the repercussions of when she found out later…or at least he hoped so.

His lips parted, but nothing came out. He had to swallow back the lump in his throat as he tried to force the words to his tongue. He unconsciously pressed his swaddled child closer to his chest.

"It's a boy. A beautiful baby boy." he choked, managing to barely fake a smile.

Her smile brightened, though it was still weak.

"Then just like we agreed. We'll call him Gilbert."

"_Ja_." Alvar nodded. "Gilbert suits him just fine."

Anna sighed tiredly and she managed to cock her head slightly. "What's wrong, Alvar?"

Alvar felt his heart begin to race again. "Nothing. I'm just glad you're alright."

"Hmm."

"And I must admit, I'm a bit nervous at becoming a _Vater_." It wasn't a lie. All throughout the pregnancy, he had doubted he could be a good father. However, at that moment, he simply wished that he could have the chance to be one.

"You'll be just fine." she cooed.

Alvar couldn't find a proper response, so he settled for another nod. Anna was beginning to drift off again. Her lids were nearly fully shut when she asked in a voice that was less than a whisper.

"Can I hold him? My little Gilbert…"

"Rest first. Then you can." he lied, lifting her limp hand to his lips.

A flash of disappointment crossed her face but it was gone as fast as it came, as sleep reclaimed her.

Alvar watched her as she slept peacefully. Her chest rising steadily.

Then suddenly, all at once, the mask Alvar had held the entire time collapsed. His face contorted into one of pure agony and he rested his forehead against the bed frame and wetting the bed sheets with his tears. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried. Even as a child, he hadn't been known to even once shed a tear. Yet he didn't care. He just let it all out, sobbing silently next to his unconscious wife and weak child.

He didn't notice his elder sister's presence as she crouched next to him, rubbing his back comfortingly while whispering unheard words into his ear. It wasn't until she placed a hand on his arm that her words finally reached him. They were surprisingly stern.

"Alvar, please give me Gilbert."

His sobs caught in his throat as he glanced up at her, noticing the tears also pouring from her blue eyes. He glanced down to his arms, which were shaking violently, appearing as if they would give in at any moment, dropping the newborn. A flash of fear shot through him and he tightened his grip, raising Gilbert to his chest. Eyes shot up to Maria, wide and fearful, as if asking her what the heck he was supposed to do now? Her eyes lowered in resignation. She had no way to comfort her younger brother now.

She felt a hand rubbing her shoulder, glancing up to see her husband's grim face. He silently offered a hand, which she gladly accepted, lifting her to her feet. She took on last glance at her brother, whose attention had been turned back to his silent child. He sat on the floor, back leaning against the bed frame as he rocked Gilbert gently. Tears continued to run down his cheeks as his lips moved slowly, sharing hushed whispers to his eldest child as if he could understand them.

When another wave of sorrow overcame Maria, so strong that she felt she would hurl. She realized that she could be no help to her brother. Not when she herself needed comfort. That's when she dashed from the room, heading into her young son's room, where she would hug the child close to her chest as she cried herself to sleep.

Johann remained in the room, eyes glancing from where his wife had sprinted off and back to his brother-in-law. Alvar had always been kind to him. A little stiff, and of course rather intimidating, but he was kind. He was also the only member of the Beilschmidts who accepted him. His wife had always spoken so highly of him; of how strong willed he was. It pained him to see this strong man broken like this. He should stay with him and comfort-.

"You can go, Johann." Alvar muttered, not bothering to spare him a glance.

"Are you sure? I can-"

"_Ja_. I'm sure. Be with your family. I'm fine here with mine."

Johann wanted to argue, but he could find no way too. Perhaps being alone would be the best for the blond at the moment. He nodded, giving one last glance at his resting sister-in-law and at the silent bundle in Alvar's arms before departing.

Alvar ignored the presence of the doctors entirely, relishing in this still moment he had with his family. He took another look at Gilbert, this time really taking in the child's features. He looked like his mother. His face held the slightest resemblance to his, but he had her nose and lips. He silently wondered whether their smile would be the same. Oh, what he wouldn't give at that moment for a chance to see this child's smile. He wanted to see life instilled in those still lips. He leaned Gilbert to his face so that his lips were brushing the top of his bald head.

"Come on, Gilbert. You're a Beilschmidt. You can overcome this. Please. Show me how strong you are."

o00o00o00o

Alvar leapt from his horse, feet hitting the ground hard. Looking about him he felt calm. He was home after all, and it was comforting to see his large manor before him, unchanged from when he last left it. With a firm hold on his horse's reigns, he began to pull it along his side towards the stables, clicking his tongue to get the animal's attention. As he returned the tired animal into its stall, and piled hay before it with a pitchfork, he was completely unaware of the eyes carefully watching him.

Once the horse was settled, he departed from the stables. It was a beautiful September afternoon. The transition between summer to autumn had always been his favorite. The sun still blanketed the land with warmth, combined with a slight cool breeze. Not to mention Anna always loved the change in colors in the trees. She told him multiple times how beautiful she thought it was.

He glanced around him for a moment, finding it strange that there would be no one outside on this fine day. He shrugged off the thought and began heading towards the manor. Though he didn't show it, he was eager to see his family again after his couple month absence.

As he walked, he suddenly heard a soft rustling, coming from the bushes behind him. He slowed his pace for a moment, but continued as if it could simply be a squirrel. Another loud rustle and the quick pitter-patter of small feet. Before Alvar could turn to face the noise, a strong force suddenly collided with the back of his legs. He stopped, glancing back to the small child wrapping his arms around both of Alvar's knees.

"Gilbert?"

Those red eyes refused to look at him. Alvar noticed a few leafs sticking from the child's messy, pale blond hair. Gilbert puffed out his cheeks irritably before released his father's legs and backing a few steps with his eyes focused straight ahead of him. Before Alvar could even question the 6 year old's antics, the boy shot into another mad dash, colliding once again with Alvar's legs. He didn't budge an inch, and that's what bothered Gilbert.

He finally lifted his small head, cheeks still puffed out as he pouted at his father. Another nudge at his father's stance and the boy was whining.

"_Vatiiii_! You need to fall! I'm tackling you!"

He tried again but Alvar still didn't budge. He still stared at the child with his questioning blue eyes.

"You've never been very good at playing with him." laughed a familiar voice.

Alvar's head shot up to see his wife walking towards him with a large smile on her face. Alvar felt his heart leap excitedly. He would have shorted the distance between them himself if it wasn't for the child attached to his legs who he would rather not shake off.

"Up! I want up, _Vati_!" Gilbert begged, giving up on his assault to the man's knees and reached his small hands upward. Alvar obliged, grasping the child beneath his arms and lifting him onto his shoulders. Gilbert giggled happily, immediately grabbing hold of his father's blond locks once he was settled.

Alvar ignored the annoying tugs as his wife approached him. He held his arms out, awaiting for her to leap into his arms and share a warm embrace, so he was rather surprised when instead he heard a loud smack and felt the sting on his cheek. His arms lowered slowly and a brow raised questioningly.

Anna's smile was gone, and she stood before him with crossed arms and her eyes narrowed. Her lips pursed themselves into an irritated frown.

Before Alvar could even ask why, the woman had cut him off.

"Why the heck were you gone for so long?!"

Alvar was still trying to get a hold of the situation. Gilbert didn't help. He had giggled at his mother's slap and began trying to mimic her by slapping his two hands against his father's large cheeks at the same time.

"You know why, Anna." Alvar answered sadly, a large hand locking onto both of Gilbert's wrists before he could land another smack. The child naturally yelped in protest.

Anna's face fell, her look of annoyance morphing into sadness.

"Yes. I know. I'm just so tired of you being gone. But I suppose that's to be expected when I decided to get involved with a scary soldier like yourself."

"Scary?" Alvar asked, taken aback slightly by her comment. She answered by simply smiling widely before finally throwing herself into his embrace. Her attack made Alvar take a step back, and reach an arm out to keep Gilbert from falling from his shoulders.

"I missed you." Anna mumbled into the folds of his uniform. Alvar smiled lightly, wrapping his arms around her curved body and burying his face into her hair. The sweet moment didn't last long, as Gilbert began shifting around on his father's shoulders, attempting to make a strategic leap from him to his mother. Alvar sighed, retracting his arms to pluck the child from him instead and lowering him to the ground, but not without plenty of protests and kicks.

"Nooooo _Vati_! I want back up! I'll be good!" Gilbert begged, but Alvar shook his head.

"Too late." he replied bluntly, making the fair-haired child frown. He opened his mouth, ready to release another string of protests, but stopped when he noticed something in the distance. His face brightened and Alvar marveled in how similar Gilbert's smile was to his mother's. Not a second later and Gilbert was gone, running into a crowd of birds which had landed a good 10 meters away.

"He's a rather energetic child. I wish I could blame you for him being like this." she said tiredly.

Alvar chuckled.

"So," she began, changing the subject. "how are things? Ever since Frederick II became king last May, you've been gone a lot more."

Alvar nodded solemnly. "I'm not entirely sure yet. But Emperor Charles VI is growing weak. Rumor has it he wont last but another month or so. Once he's dead, his daughter is set up to take the thrown, due to Pragmatic Sanction the Emperor established since he didn't have any sons to replace him. I think Frederick is going to use this moment to his advantage. He has his eyes on the Duchy of Silesia."

"So you're thinking war then?" she asked warily.

"_Ja_. I'm betting on it."

Anna lowered her gaze sadly. Alvar cocked his head and began sweetly sweeping his hand through her hair and placing a kiss along a strand.

"And how are you?" he asked. "You haven't been as energetic as usual. How is your health."

"Ha!" Anna scoffed "You try being energetic raising that boy all by yourself!"

"Well you could have gotten help from the nurse maids if you didn't get rid of them."

"Heck no!" she retaliated. "There is no way I am going to have my child raised by a bunch of maids!"

Alvar raised a brow. "I practically was."

Those crimson eyes rolled. "And we know how well your relationship with your parents was." she added sarcastically. "I can take care of my child, just as long as I still have some maids to clean the house. There's no way I'd ever have time. The house is too big and your child needs far too much attention."

"'_My _child_'_?"

"Yes! YOUR child!" Anna repeated, jabbing a finger at his chest for emphasis.

Alvar raised a brow, opening his mouth again until he was interrupted by a loud scream.

"Ahhhh! _Krampus_!"

Both adults quickly turned their attention to their child, who was currently running through one of the clearings of trees. He had his back firming against a tree trunk as he spied around the tree, searching nervously for an unknown enemy.

"At least he can entertain himself sometimes." Anna added, chuckling slightly. "Though it doesn't help that little Roderich and Elizaveta apparently told him about _Krampus_ last Christmas. It keeps him awake some nights.

The two watched their child continue to scamper around energetically as he played by himself. Alvar felt himself smile. Who would have known that the dying newborn in his arms six years ago would live to be so incredibly energetic?

"I want another." Anna stated longingly, immediately grabbing Alvar's attention.

"But your health! The doctor advised against it! Don't you remember what happened last time and how long it took for you both to recover?"

"And look at us today. We're both fine." her voice was low and sad as her eyes continued to watch her child.

Alvar sighed sadly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close as he graced her lips with a few soft pecks.

"But I don't think you'd be able to handle another Gilbert." he added humorously.

She smiled as she turned her eyes to him and leaned into his embrace. Her thin fingers beginning to trace gently along his lips. "Who knows? The next one could be more like you."

Alvar smiled, leaning in to steal a passionate kiss from his lover's lips. However, just as their lips brushed, Alvar heard a small clank and a weight from his side disappearing. His head shot up in alarm to see that his six year old had stealthfully unlatched the sword from his side and was currently making a mad dash away from his father; the weapon in hand.

"GILBERT!" Alvar quickly detached from his wife and began the wild chase after his son.

**Author comments:**

**And so, here tells the tale in which Gilbert's mother was given a name. Heh, I thought I got away with leaving her nameless, but as soon as I decided to write this I realized that she finally needed a name. So Anna she shall be!**

**I had so much random back story thought up for Alvar which I wouldn't be able to fit into the main story, so I forced myself to write a one shot for it. Hope it was enjoyable. **

**History: **

**Very brief but I was able to add some in this last part.**

**Frederick II became King after his father died in 1740. In November that same year, Charles VI of the Hapsburgs, and the Holy Roman Emperor, passed away. He had worked for a good portion of his life to establish the Pragmatic Sanction, which would make his daughter, Maria Theresa, heir, since he had no sons. **

**Frederick took advantage of that moment and he denied the Sanction. Although he did agree that he would accept Maria Theresa if she surrendered Silesia to Prussia. He also agreed to ally himself with her against France and the other countries denying her right to rule. And we all know that she obviously refused his offer and BAM! War of Austrian Succession!**

**If I decide to write any more one shots based on the Beilschmidt family/brothers set before the events of Awesome Can't Die, then I will also post them here. Anyways, take care and hope you'll leave a review for me! Thank you!**


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